i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
