If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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