69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
