he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
