oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
