i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
