small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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