i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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