real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My hand turned me down
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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