dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
