She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
