PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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