Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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