I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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