my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
