Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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