party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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