all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
