The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
