I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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