Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we have officially lost it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
