I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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