The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
