Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
