nut hugger
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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