Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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