Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
