Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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