either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
