It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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