do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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