I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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