ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
