My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
