I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
