Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
