I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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