saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
