The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
