I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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