And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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