Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
