I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
