What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
