Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
