this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This baby is an asshole
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
