Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize