so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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