Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
