I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
