The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
