he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
did you just send me my own nude
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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