I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
