Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
