All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize