He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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