We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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