It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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