As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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