Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
