I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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