Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
